Which to have -- Presents or Presence?


   Ok.. don't let the title scare you.. too much anyway :)  I mean.. I know
I've struggled a lot with titles like this.. cuz they force me to look at how
much I'm not listening to God in my life versus how much I should be.. and
let's face it.. not even Jesus always enjoyed listening to what God wanted
Him to do.  Take the Cross for example.  Jesus prayed 3 times that God would
"take this cup" from Him -- i.e. let Him out of the need to die on that
Cross.  I'm sure Jesus had a good understanding of how painful it was going
to be.. and how nastily He was going to be treated.. and so He asked God if
He could, if at all possible, get out of this.  So it's not all that inhuman
or 'wrong' to ask God to get us out of hardship if at all possible.  But we
need to also remember Jesus' attitude when He said, "Nevertheless, not My
will, but Yours be done." unto His Father.  Paul made it clear in one of his
letters that suffering for Christ is a mandate to becoming like Him.
   Tons of people these days write off the notion of suffering.. especially
here in the U.S. where we have such military might that we can fight off just
about anyone.  I mean.. how can we run a world.. or a society of any size, if
we're going to allow people to take advantage of us, or harm us, without
punishing them for it?  Isn't punishment the norm when it comes to
wrongdoing?  I've struggled a lot with this notion as of late.  So many
people throughout the world are into punishing evildoers.. It's been the norm
for thousands of years.. so why not now?
   Well.. I've gone into this in previous essays.. and I'm still learning
more and more about the issue.. but I keep coming back to one set of verses..
Matthew 5:38-48.. where Jesus plainly tells His followers to "not resist an
evildoer".. and even to "love your enemies".
   I'm remembering one program I heard on Focus on the Family.. where this
one woman tells the story of when she was being raped.. and how her
knife-holding attacker told her, "If you scream, I'll cut you into a million
pieces!" and she told him, "Well then every one of those million pieces will
still love you."  The attacker was torn into pieces inside by that.. and if I
recall right, ran away into the night.  Unfortunately, this woman who claimed
to love the attacker pursued his jailing and punishment.. believing this was,
of course, the loving thing to do.. and in part, of course, to prevent him
from raping anyone else.  Now my question is.. is this the best thing for us
to do?  I mean.. we are living in a society that prosecutes many crimes.. in
hopes that the people who are punished will learn from the pain of their
punishment and decide not to pursue their own selfishness again in a manner
that would hurt someone else.  But what is *really* going to make the
difference?  Is it throwing them into a prison and leaving them behind for
society to sort out?  Or is there something else we can do that.. though it
may be more difficult, will be more likely to bring better results?
   Personally, I'm thinking that there is.  I keep looking to the Cross.. to
what Jesus did.. and how He died for everyone.... EVEN those who directly
brought about His death..... EVEN the men who pounded in the nails and stuck
the cross into the ground.  I keep thinking, "Isn't this the love we need to
be showing unto all people..?  Even if they hurt us in the extreme?  EVEN if
they hurt the ones we love most???"
   I feel sick these days when I hear.. on Christian radio even..
advertisements for people to join the armed forces and fight for our nation.
I keep asking myself.. "Is this what Jesus would want us to do..?  Or is
there more?"
   We call ourselves Christians.. which means "little Christ".. yet we stand
up for our rights in ways which Jesus never did.  Aren't we called to
*follow* after Him?
   Ok.. I've heard people tell me things like, "Well.. Jesus suffered like
that.. but.. we don't have to.  He did the suffering for us."  Is that the
attitude Jesus wants us having?  or rather.. is it part of the path that
leads to destruction?  I mean.. tons upon tons of people these days are
perfectly convinced that their 'faith' in Jesus will save them.. that simply
believing that He's the Son of God who died for their sins and rose again is
enough to bring them eternal life.  But in Matthew 7.. Jesus points to the
fact that *MANY* will come to Him on the day of judgement.. and point to all
their 'accomplishments' in His name.. how they did so many 'things' for Him..
so many supernatural works.. and yet.. even these people will He deny
entrance to Heaven.  Why?  Because they chose to live not doing the will of
Jesus' Father who is in Heaven.  He will tell them, "Depart from me, I never
knew you."  But.. *CERTAINLY* these people knew Him.. right?.. I mean.. they
had to believe in Him as who He was in order to be able to bring about
supernatural workings of God's Spirit.. right?
   The problem here lies in the depth of the word 'know' as it's used here,
and other places in the Bible.  In the King James.. the word 'know' is used
for something very special.. the physical intimacy between a man and a woman.
Intimacy is something we have very little of in today's world.  Why's that..?
I think it's because millions upon millions of people are hurting inside..
and don't know how to empathize with others.. to touch one-on-one in the
depths of one another's hearts.  We are taught the notion of "live and let
live".. but that doesn't produce real intimacy.  We all have hidden desires..
WAY deep down in our hearts.... Many of them are so deep down that we have
all but forgotten that they are there.. if we even ever knew what they were.
Unfortunately, when we're taught the idea of "relativistic morality".. or..
"what's wrong for you might not be wrong for me".. we deny the very depths of
the fabric of our being.  God.. a perfectly unilateral being.. without "any
shadow of turning" in Him.. created man (i.e. mankind) with a perfect
morality ingrained into the reality where He placed him.
   Morality makes no sense if it doesn't involve everyone... otherwise people
can act outside one another's morality, hurting each other by one version,
when helping by another.  Morality *MUST* be absolute, or it has no force
behind it.  And the trouble with this, is the fact that, with so many people
choosing their own versions of morality, people hurt one another.. though
their own moralities say they're doing them good.  And in this case.. NOBODY
can get close to one another.. EXCEPT if their moralities are shared ones. 
   This is why many people choose alternate lifestyles.  Homosexuals, for
example.. often have been hurt by those who have lived 'straight' lives..
perhaps in positions of leadership in the victims' lives.. especially when in
the position of "Christian authority".  Yet they have been 'accepted' or felt
'intimate' (able to share their hearts without being looked down upon or cast
aside) with those who are also 'cast-outs' from society.  The cast-outs
bond.. just like nerds at a table in a highschool lunchroom.  They share
their hatred for how they were treated.. and grow together.. trying to become
a force that will state to everyone, "We are ok!  You cast us out, but we are
going to rise above you!"
   And this is why so many people are going to end up in Hell, though they
claim to be Christians.. because they are not "intimate" or "on a
heart-to-heart level" with Jesus.  Of course, since Jesus' Words are often
hard to take at face value, we twist them so that we will hear our own
Jesus.. and bond in our hearts with him.. rather than seeking the only Real
One.. no matter how hard His truth is to handle.  And thus.. people all over
the world are content to simply believe in His being God's Son.. and His
death and resurrection.. without living out these parts of His life in their
own.  And if we do not know the REAL Jesus.. who He truly is.. not who
pastors tell us He is.. not who athiests tell us He is.. but the real Jesus..
who lives today and knocks on the door of every heart.. If we do not know
that Jesus intimately inside.. then we're going to end up far more than
disheartened when the next life comes around.  Yes.. nobody can know Him
perfectly.  And the path to truly knowing Him is a very difficult one to
travel.. because so many people are on the broad path.. and pulling us away
from His narrow one.  But knowing Him *is* possible for EVERY LIVING SOUL..
as long as they listen to His call unto them.  That's what Paul is referring
to in Romans 1:20.. when he talks about the fact that no man has an excuse
for not coming to God on His terms.. for *ALL* men eventually hear the truth
of what God wants.. and are presented with valid opportunities to listen.
Truly knowing Him is a moment-to-moment, day-to-day journey.. not something
we do on Sundays only.  It is a continued surrendering of all of our hearts
unto His desires.. truly FOLLOWING Him.. not just believing in who He is and
what He's done.
   Ok.. but what about suffering?  What about loving our enemies?  Didn't
Jesus tell us to forget about the notion of "an eye for an eye" and such?
Isn't this part of truly following Him?  I contend that suffering brings us
closer to Christ.. as long as we maintain a Godly attitude *in* that
suffering.. especially if it's righteous suffering.  Paul says that taking it
well when we are rightfully chastened or punished.. isn't any big deal... but
that taking it well when we are wrongfully attacked or hurt.. *is*.. and
brings great commendation from God.  Jesus told us to rejoice on the day that
we are hurt because we are holding to Him and His truth.. for our reward in
Heaven is great.  And if this is true.. then why would we want to fight *off*
that suffering?  We should.. like the Apostles did in Acts.. thank God for
counting us worthy *TO* receive suffering for Christ's name.  Of course.. one
thing I've learned is how difficult it is to tell when you're suffering
righteously for Him these days.  With so many churches and denominations, and
so many people with their own belief-systems within each church.. it becomes
tough to tell if we're truly on Jesus' side.. cuz the people in church just
end up taking the side of the pastors.. and their denominational beliefs.
Every church thinks they're right.. but so many have so many differing ideas
of what truly *is* right.. that it's so nearly impossible to figure out if
you're ever on Jesus' side -- that is.. unless, you are merely standing on
the simple truths of Jesus' Sonship, death, and resurrection.  It's hard to
tell when it's truly righteous suffering cuz so many ppl who claim to be
Christian siding with those bringing the pain.
   So how do you know if it's righteous?  It comes back to 'know'ing Jesus..
to surrendering to the REAL Jesus.  And the ONLY way I know to find Him is
through deep heartfelt time and effort before Him.. sharing your heart.. and
dying to yourself and your ideas.. being as willing as you can to let Him and
His truth be the only truth in your heart.. even if it brings you far more
pain than doing anything else.  The Bible *can* and *WILL* help.. but only as
much as we are open to what the writers and speakers in it were truly saying.
It is *NOT* a perfect book.  Tons of translators leave out meaning here and
there.. without knowing it.. cuz they don't know the real Jesus all that
well.  They think they're on a mission for Him.. and take it up.. without
truly dying to themselves and their own ideas.  It's far from an easy
process.. to die.. and it's something nobody can really help you do.  People
can help you see Jesus for who He is.. but.. it's up to each one of us to
personally 'die' to what each of us wants inside.. so that we can have what
He wants for us -- which, though it may bring pain in this life, shall bring
blessings untold in the next.  I'm not saying the Bible isn't a GREAT Book..
cuz it is.  It's an awesome book.. with generally minor flaws (depending on
which translation you use).  But calling it "God's Word" is dangerous...
partially because Jesus is God's Word.. and He's not a book.  He's the living
power by which God created the universe.. and which holds the entire universe
together.  He can live in our hearts.. but *ONLY* as much as we let Him have
control will we truly experience His blessings -- blessings which always run
counter to those this world has to offer.
   And I think this is why so many people refuse to turn the other cheek --
because we are all so involved in what we have in this life.. in our own
pleasure and lack of pain.. or as the Declaration of Independence puts it..
in our own 'inalienable rights'.
   Something a good friend said once has stayed with me.. though it was hard
as anything to hear at the time -- the notion that Christians have no rights.
Truthfully.. no person has any rights.. only priveleges, given by God.  To
say that we have rights says that we can demand something from God, and He is
required to give it to us.  And though God let His people operate from a
position of mandates.. mandates that punished those who did immoral things..
He never wanted them to think they had the 'right' to do anything.. as much
as the responsibility to act as He has told them.  God *alone* has rights.
And people don't like realizing just how many rights He has.  He has the right
to allow people to act how they choose.. including hurting one another.  He
has the right to give us little in this life, so that we'll treasure Him..
instead of what we have.  He has the right to allow extreme suffering in our
family.. to teach us to depend on Him.. and not our circumstances.  And He
has the right to be worshipped.. to be not only praised, but to have EVERY
one of His commands followed to the letter -- not just the ones we
understand the reasons behind.  And this includes obeying every command His
Son gave us.. even the ones that bring us the most 'suffering'.  For in this
suffering, if we are righthearted before Him.. God will make us into a far
more precious jewel.. which He can use even more to spread His love.. REAL
Love.. not movie love.. not sex.. not the world's definition of love.. but
TRUE love.. as it is meant to be.  And if Jesus is truly God's image.. then
He gave us the example of how love is supposed to be acted out -- not only
turning the other cheek.. but daring to DIE for those who hate us.  I mean..
think about it.  If you were totally lost.. and blackened in your soul.. and
knew that a lot of what you did was wrong.. and you ended up hurting people
in order to 'get' something out of life.. which would minister to you more:
someone who punished you for what you did..?  Or someone who.. though you
attacked them with all you had.. gave you even more than you tried to take?
Isn't this what Jesus meant when He told us, "To him who compels you to go
with him one mile, go two.." and "If a man sues you at the law and takes your
coat.. *GIVE* him your cloak as well."  Isn't our job on this planet to LOVE
our enemies.. and *NOT* insist on our rights?  Isn't our job to forward the
Gospel..?  Not just to those who are easy to handle.. but those who hate us
without bounds?  Didn't Jesus say, "If you love only those who love you.. what
good is it?  Do not the tax collectors (those you despise most) do the same?"
   Ok.. Romans 13.  I know many of you are going to bring this passage up.
But it's not quite saying what you might think it's saying.  You see.. in
this passage.. Paul *NEVER* told us Christians to accept positions of
authority.  He was, instead.. telling Christians that they were wrong to
simply live how they chose, and not rightfully submit to those who *were* in
charge.. for God *uses* them to punish evildoing.  Paul was truly referring
to "unbelieving leaders".. or he wouldn't have needed to explain to his
fellow believers that they needed to value the laws that the leaders came up
with.  Paul was telling us.. that.. as Christians.. we needed to submit
ourselves to those who will not only have to answer to God for their
actions.. but who punish evil.. so that we, as followers of our Master..
would be a credit *TO* our Master.. and not a stain on His name.  Of course..
this does not refer to laws that go against God's desires.. but.. the word
'resist' in this passage refers to a 'position of obstinance'.. like donkey
that will not obey his master.  We are to submit ourselves *unto* authority,
so that God's name will be blessed by those around us.. and not cursed as the
master of those unrighteous Christians.
   Yet in Romans 12.. just a few verses before chapter 13 starts.. Paul tells
us to overcome evil with good.. and to feed our hungry enemies.. and give
drink to enemies who thirst.. (the coals of fire in this passage refer to a
blessing of coals carried on the head in a vessel to help start a fire, rather
than burying your enemy in fiery pain).  People who get into positions of
worldly authority are missing the truth of Jesus' calling unto them.  Jesus
had no home during His ministry (kind of interesting, if you want to worship
Mary.. for if she were meant to be worshipped, would she have let Him be cast
out of her household during His ministry?) as is related by Him saying "The
Son of Man has no place to lay His head."  I'm not saying that we are
necessarily in the wrong if *we* have our own homes.. but.. I think that just
about all of us who call ourselves Christians are far too comfortable in our
jobs and lives.. and are believing that we are serving Jesus to the best of
our abilities.. when in fact, we are refusing to truly let Him lead and be
100% Lord of our lives... even if it costs us our families.. or jobs.. or
money.. or lifestyles.  Jesus promised us that whatever we lose for His sake,
we will receive back 100 fold.. both in this life.. and the next.  Yet
Christendom of today is so enrapt in the 'rights' of its citizens that it
refuses to look at God's love for those who attack them.  A Man who gets into
a position of authority needs to be focussed on two things: the 'rights' of
those underneath him.. and the mandates of his superior.  And in this case..
ultimately, that man's superior is God.. who sent Jesus.. who tells us to
love our enemies.  Yet.. a man in authority will need to fight off those who
would usurp the rights of those beneath him.. right?  But Christians do not
seek rights.. as much as the privelege of knowing Jesus more and more
intimately.  So who is going to seek rights.. other than those who are either
nonbelievers, or believers who are valuing the pleasures of this life?  So a
'Christian' in authority would only be following after the 'rights' of those
who were not listening to Jesus' call to love their enemies.  Extinguishing
suffering through the punishment of those who cause that suffering was never
Jesus' call.. but for us to love those who bring that suffering, and trust
that God's call for us to value the next life above this.. and believe that
all people who listen to His love shall find peace and bliss eternally..
including the unborn.  Yes.. we need to point out what is right and wrong..
but that MUST first of all focus on God's call through Jesus to repentance
that we can be set free from our sin.. and find perfect life that will last
forever.
   Another parallel reason why people have so many problems is because we
are 'purposeless'.. or.. aiming in no real direction.. or no good one.  We
are aiming for 'fun' or 'peace of mind' or 'pleasure' or 'cessation of
work'.. when these things just don't provide.  God has allowed problems to
sweep over the Christian community to draw us to Him.. to point us to the
fact that we are not living to love Him... but to enjoy life -- for living to
love Him is a very difficult and often-pain-visited trail.. which people just
don't want... but which is the ONLY way to Heaven.  People live for family..
for friends.. for fun.. but.. not for the Future Life God has promised to
those who abandon their love for this world and seek Him first and foremost.
People hate commitment.. cuz they see the pain that people have brought upon
themselves through making commitments that they couldn't (or rather, chose
not to) keep.  They think that they won't be able to keep their own
commitments, so why make any?  This is the main reason why so many people opt
not to marry... cuz they figure that they can get 'life' out of living with
someone, without true lifetime commitment.  This is, of course, one of
satan's lies.. that he enjoys getting people to partake in.. in order to just
bring more pain to everyone... and run them further and further from the only
real way to find fulfillment.. -- in a purpose-driven life *for* God.. not
for anything or anyone else.  Without God's Gospel as the primary focus in
life (and though Focus on the Family does a lot of good.. I think the focus
needs to be on the Gospel more than the family), we will not find the life
that God has for us.. and may end up without eternal life -- for as Jesus
said in Matthew 12:30.. "He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does
not gather with Me, scatters."  If we are not involved in gathering people
unto Jesus.. as our first and foremost goal in life.. then we may be on the
broad path, and not the narrow one.  Yes.. first and foremost, we must get to
know Jesus personally.. and find out why He came and why He died and rose
again.. (which is hard in a culture that defines words so differently from
person to person).. but once we come to a true knowledge of Him and what He
did for us.. (which we *MUST* do).. trusting *IN* *****HIM***** and not just
the work He did.. then we must make His goals *our* goals.. and His desires
*our* desires.. or we cannot call ourselves Christians.
   A final note.  The reason for my title came from the beginning of a Focus
on the Family broadcast.. from the guy who wrote "Why I Kissed Dating
Goodbye".  I was listening.. and noted.. that.. one of the reasons why I
struggled so much with wanting to be liked by a girl.. was because of how
much pleasure it brought to me when I simply looked at attractive girls.  In
essence.. being around them or liked *by* them brought me "presents" of
pleasure and well-being.. not all of which were bad.  Yet.. because I put the
pursuit of such a relationship FAR AND ABOVE that of a relationship with
God, I found only that I ended up in more and more pain.. especially when my
relationships broke up.
   I remember as a kid, my dad telling me to pursue my career and schooling
first.. and *then* to pursue a girl.  The problem was.. I needed to feel like
I was loved NOW and not years in the future.. and I was SO sure that the love
of a girl would provide what I needed.  Unfortunately.. we were both somewhat
wrong.  Yes, I needed to pursue something before I got a girlfriend.. but it
wasn't school.. it was God.  Yet I had no idea that He would be what I
needed.. nor did my dad.  I've struggled for years.. and still I'm
struggling.. but.. God keeps helping me see that He's here for me.. and that
He will provide for me.. if I only trust Him.  That trust means more than
belief.. it means surrender.. something I've also had a very tough time
doing.  It's so hard to let go of control of my own life.. especially when
the people around me who were in positions of authority only ended up
hurting me.  But I'm finding that it's the only way that God will give me
what I truly need.. through that trust in Him.  In other words.. rather than
focussing on the 'presents' that I can get from this world.. I need to seek
God's "presence".. and let Him have the rule over my life that I was meant to
have.  It's not easy.. and I know that I naturally fight it.. but I need to
listen, or I'll end up without everything.
   So that's basically where the world is too.  We all are running after the
'presents' that this world can give us.. things that we can obtain through
our own effort.. when in fact, the only way we're going to end up satisfied
is if we give up and let God be our God... seeking His 'presence' and
pursuing His love above all else.
   I know it's not an easy life-decision.. but Jesus put it best when He
said, "What will a man give in exchange for his soul?"  The benefits are
beyond belief.. the consequences of not listening, are.. well.. not so hot.
It's all your decision.. just like it's mine.  :)  I hope we both end up in
the same place. :)